I cried more than I ever have before
Cried for all we created, all that we healed together
Cried for what we no longer were going to be
Feeling beaten and bruised, like I had gone 12 rounds in the ring
The emptiness
The grief
The gut-wrenching ache
Coming in waves
The profound sorrow I never knew could be
Somehow we lost each other, and we lost ourselves
All we have is now, moment by moment
Nothing is permanent, nothing is forever
The unresolved anger
Insidiously becoming resentment
I can’t pinpoint a moment when it all started to turn
When we began to drift apart
Looking back on all that was good
Staying with the pain of the present
Ahead is uncertain and unclear, but perhaps a faint glimmer
So I put one foot gingerly in front of the other
Knowing it will be better this way, in time
And that the only way through it is to feel it
Then darkness again
And I cried some more
Image by Princess Pana
servingothersblog.com 
I have felt this way. A very clear description of this pain. If you are describing your own pain, I am sorry you need to go through it. But as your poem says, it is as it must be for now for reasons we may not even understand completely.
Thank you Anda…your point about not understanding completely is insightful….
Absolutely beautiful. I am sorry for what you’re going through that caused you to write this.
Thank you Teresa….
I read this and feel the pain I went thru for many years of my marriage. I read it again and see the pain my ex went thru when I finally walked away. It all hurts. It gets better.
Ever so slowly, and incrementally I guess. And certainly not in a linear fashion. Feels like one step forward, two steps back most of the time….
One time I was hit by a loss like this. I was consumed with grief, so much that one evening I screamed up at the angels to bring him back. And in time, they did. But it was wrong, he was not the same, and I was not the same. If you agree to let go of the grief, even though at times you will still want to feel it, I believe one could pass through a time like this more enlightened, maybe easier. Looking back, I can still feel the knot in my throat, but my understanding is so much greater now, I am only glad for that knot. Beautiful writing, my friend. Very beautiful!
Thank you Cecile. But I’m clearly not in a very beautiful frame of mind. He’d to know which end is up. Just when I think things are sort of OK, everything flips again.
Listening to Metallica – Nothing else matters, and Led Zeppelin – Kashmir. Thinking of you.
Grief takes time–lots and lots of time. Best wishes. (BTW: nice drawing. Did you do it?)
Thank you Pam….writing about helps. But it will take the time that it takes. No the drawing is not mine, but is very symbolic.
Yes, writing does help. I lost my best friend in May and have written about that . . . but I cannot bring myself to write the final piece about that experience; still way too raw.
Re the drawing: Can you say where you got it so i can give proper credit? I pinned it and gave credit to your blog.
My words are inadequate. Sending a hug…
Thank you…support comes from the unlikeliest of places.
Sending you lots of positive thoughts to hold you up, if only for a moment. Be good to yourself, my friend.
Thanks Lori….
Another day, and things may seem flipped. Perhaps you do not need to decide immediately which end is up. Only being. Maybe a long bike ride with your son? Whatever you do, connect with nature and remember where you’ve been. We are here!
Thank you Cecile
Jonathan,
This sounds like a grief that you can only work your way through- no consolation, no answers, no simple balm. Just pain and loss and sadness.
But you will make your way. And change, our only constant, will bring you to another place. And from there, you’ll go forward.
The Tao lesson- if you open yourself to loss, you become at one with the loss, and can accept it completely- has helped me over the years to weather some hard times. Maybe you too.
Sending strong thoughts.
Tom
Feel what you need to feel. Cry when you need to cry. Write when you need to write. Let it all be what it needs to be. As I’m discovering: the only way around is through.
I’m so sorry to hear this Jonathan. I can feel the depth of your pain, the sorrow…. Writing indeed is very healing. Loving thoughts and healing energies on your way! ♥♥♥NadineMarie♥♥♥
Thank you NM…
Your honest and courageous expression of pain is deeply appreciated, for in your brave sharing we readers can feel comforted in knowing that we are not alone in our pain, in our heartbreak. This is what blogging, writing, poetry is all about… to share those deepest feelings that are bursting out of our hearts because we must, only to discover that these private words truly resonate with others and help them heal too. Bless your heart, dear one, and know that your journey is not in vain. Rather it is a trailblazing showing-of-the-way through the brambles. Thank you. Your friend, Gina