I have been struggling with meaning and purpose for awhile now. Leaving my old way of being in the world, but still not yet sure what the new version of me will look like. Searching for answers, or at least trying to become more comfortable in the “not” knowing. It’s a very hard being in this place, especially because everyone around me seems so certain of their path. People don’t know what to make of someone who is not sure.
Yesterday while on a quick dinner break from volunteeering at a local music festival I was joined by another volunteer, Deborah. She asked me what I do. You know, the usual polite, yet seemingly fluffy questions you ask when you meet someone for the first time. Or so I thought.
I gave her a short, honest synopsis of where I am. Basically that I do not know. Surprisingly honest because I usually don’t reveal this kind of depth so quickly. It took maybe all of two minutes for me to describe this.
And then she looked at me in a profound way–knowing, calm, and certain–and she said: “Jonathan, you are going to be OK. You need this time to heal. THAT is your purpose right now. And then you will know, and you will be OK.”
It was a very powerful and moving moment. How could anyone–let alone a complete stranger–have this kind of insight? And yet she did.
And I heard it, and somehow felt reassured.
I think maybe the universe heard me calling, and sent me a message.
Thank you Deborah.