If I am exactly where I am supposed to be, why do I feel I should be somewhere else? This has been running through my mind for months now (and perhaps even longer at the sub-conscious level). This incessant feeling that I am not enough, and that I should be doing something else (although I haven’t a clue what that should be). I feel anxious, stressed, on edge, and I struggle to be and remain in the moment. It isn’t every waking moment, but enough that I am very aware of it. And I hate it.
And so I came upon this blog by Les Floyd on Living in the Moment. Perfect (or divine?) timing! He describes it this way: “Acceptance of the moment allows you to shed the anxiety and negativity which your mind may wish to attach to and label that moment with. It allows you to move from a mentally constructed fabrication of virtual reality into actual reality…from thought into form. Life is an ongoing process of change, so accepting the moment doesn’t mean that things won’t change…it just means you won’t be beating yourself up, psychologically, while you’re moving through that change.”
I wonder if the lesson that I have such trouble assimilating is that Life WANTS to help me figure out who I really am, and who I am meant to be? That everything is happening just as it should, but my limited scope will not always allow me to see that. I suppose this must be an ongoing exercise in trust, faith, patience, and mindfulness, and learning to keep these top of “mind,” and top of “heart.” Resistance, as the saying goes, is futile.