Last week I went to a local fitness center. As I walked in, a group of young kids tried to get my attention. I was feeling a little off—perhaps a little tired, and I had a few things on my mind. I felt like I was being harassed, and that they wanted something from me (although I hadn’t taken the time to find out), so I quickly said “thanks but not today,” and walked away.
I just caught myself in that moment, and felt their disappointment, like the wind had been taken out of their sails. From the registration desk, I looked back at their table, and wondered why I had been so curt, closed, and dismissive. I probably assumed that they wanted money, and it seems that everywhere I turn that’s all people want.
So I walked back and asked them about their project. Their little faces instantly lit up as they began chattering away excitedly, describing how if they had the most votes, their group would win $125,000 towards the improvement of their local park and soccer field. They were not looking for my money. They just wanted my attention. And I gave it to them. But I almost missed that opportunity.
I have been thinking about that little exchange ever since, and a few things that have been percolating have bubbled to the surface.
My friend Jules recently introduced the concept of Ubuntu to me, an African philosophy about people, generosity and interactions with each other. Archbishop Desmond Tutu describes it this way. “A person with Ubuntu is open and available to others, affirming of others, does not feel threatened that others are able and good, based from a proper self-assurance that comes from knowing that he or she belongs in a greater whole, and is diminished when others are humiliated or diminished, when others are tortured or oppressed.”
One of my favourite bloggers, Thomas Ross, has an entire blog dedicated to being present. In a recent post he described it as “a single-minded effort in each moment. It sounds so small, but within this conception a world of great wonder and possibility resides. Each moment becomes a fresh start.”
Two very powerful ideas that, if applied consistently, I think can change the world.
I would like to be mindful of these always, but I also recognize that it may not always be possible 100% of the time. Things happen sometimes to prevent it. But I am encouraged, because I am becoming aware enough to recognize that disconnected feeling when it happens. More and more, I am able to catch myself in the moment of being closed.
And that awareness means I can do something about it.
What a heart-warming story! Such a great example of how we can rush through life and miss these important moments.
Thanks Lorrie. The progress is painfully incremental at times, but moving in the right direction I think.
I can think of nothing greater to aspire to…thank you that was wonderful and inspiring
I did something similar at our county fair last week…I couldn’t be bothered to take the time to find out about what a high school aged girl wanted to tell me about…even though I had no agenda. Now I regret that even more. I definitely need to work on being more open and available to others. Thank you for the post!
Thanks Teresa. Once you start noticing it, you realize how often it happens. And that’s a good thing.
Love that idea Jonathan. Ubuntu is a new word to me, but not a new concept and I think it’s really great that you are aware enough to recognize the person you truly wanted to be. Kudos to you.
You again are so generous and thoughtful in your response to my writing. I’m really very grateful to you.
By sharing the conception of Ubuntu with us, you have given us a great gift. I will keep the sharing going by tweeting it on, happily.
Thank you Tom…your messages are well thought out and beautifully expressed, and deserve to be shared.
I saw your comment over on Michele’s blog and your blog name caught my attention. Then I read this and your experience and it made me think of what I wrote a day ago and thought you might appreciate reading it: http://saymberblondi.wordpress.com/2012/08/23/the-tale-of-two-plumbers-and-another-installment-of-you-should-call-him-sam/ – We are conduits of the Universe to each other. The Universe, God, divinity is able to work through us when we are plugged in to the real world and not gadgets. When we actually pay attention to the people around us, make eye contact with them and just say hello or smile….amazing things happen. Oh the stories people have told me! They usually end up in my journals or blogs like this lol.
Thank you Saymber…yes I think it’s as simple as that. I will look forward to reading up on you as well.