Sounds like a contradiction, doesn’t it? The very beginning of my spiritual journey has felt like an awakening. But it also feels intensely frustrating at times, like I have somehow lost my tether, which I suppose I have. Very few really talk about that part. I have been reading Barbara Marx Hubbard (Birth 2012). In it she talks about how major crises happen just before transformation, and how these are “evolutionary drivers” that can propel us to a better, more unified and loving existence, or they can destroy us. Sure feels like we’re at that point. Anyway, a bigger topic for another day.
She also describes on an individual level the discontent and that nagging sense of “lack of meaning” in your life, but that this feeling of dissonance is what initially awakens us. If you are depressed and if you sense that there’s something in you that hasn’t been expressed, then it’s a signal that the universe inside me is pushing me to act towards something more. So rather than “what’s wrong with me,” I can ask “what wants to be born from me.” Anyone been through this? Any wisdom to share?