This is an expression that has always bothered me. I hear people say it and it just gets under my skin. It feels to me like a very simplistic way to look at the world, and that it glosses over the intricacies and complexities of life.
I do think we all have choice in how we view things, and that seeing the glass half full is a better, more helpful, more evolved approach than seeing things half empty. But being positive at all cost ignores what is real. It denies the feelings of being human, and for me, this is the rub. It represses.
For most of my life, I denied that I had feelings, and tried to pretend everything was OK. I felt somehow that I was not allowed to have feelings. And I can see now that this did not serve me well. They would end up coming out eventually, in mostly self destructive ways.
So I am learning to acknowledge the feelings, and allowing myself to feel them. And as a result, they are not able to grip me the same way they used to. They seem to pass through me more quickly now. Most of the time. I still am not always able to articulate what it is that bothers me, nor do I always know what I like, don’t like, or want.
I see shades of grey where others see black or white.
But at a very deep level, that I can only sometimes tap into, I know that it is in fact “all good,” and that I have so much to be grateful for. I know that everything happens for a reason, and for my highest good, even though I may not always understand what that is in the moment. I recognize, at times, that I am not always able to see the forest though the trees, as the saying goes.
And this recognition in and of itself, is progress. I am learning to trust that things are unfolding as they should, even though it tests my faith time and time again.
I did the same thing… For a long time… Just began acknowledging my feelings and really letting myself feel them about a year ago. I didn’t know what to do with them before… And I hid them behind always being busy and pleasing others.
It is a funny thing… When I stop to question or ask myself what I am feeling and why, the feelings don’t grip me as they used to either… This helps me so much with those negative feelings like guilt or anger or sadness. Those dissipate quicker now. I also find I am able to savor the good feelings better.
Thank you Cynthia….this all sounds VERY familiar.
I am with you on this. Acknowledging our feelings is more important than to pretend that everything is “all good.” It is ok to not be good or happy sometimes. This is what life is.
Thank you Noël. Allowing ourself to be OK with both the good and the bad is the key. One of them anyway.
Hi Jonathan, I’ve been following your journey since we returned from Nicaragua. This one hits so close to home I just had to comment. Like Cynthia I just ploughed though life…the good and the bad, taking no time to reflect or acknowledge my feelings. Just pleasing everyone around me, at work and at home. No time for myself, now I’m trying to live in the present, not the past or in the future. Being Mindful of Now and I feel much better.
Merry Christmas to all and Peace of Mind in the New Year!
Thank you Carol. That was the beginning of a whole new chapter, for both of us it sounds like. I understand completely what you write about. Everything changes with mindfulness. All the best to you.
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